When M was a few months old, I and my wife joked around that we should write a book on how to be a new parent. The book would have 100 pages of regular situations faced by new parents with answers. The answer for all 100 pages was going to be “DO NOTHING”. So no, this isn’t going to be a parenting 101 blog on tips and tricks. This is just me sharing my thoughts on the journey so far.
I Stand Corrected
I often wondered how were kids sent away to playschool so early? 2.5 years seemed too young. How could people send away such tiny cuties to school! What was the hurry? I, myself went to LKG at 3 but that did not stop me from wondering. Yet, as M reaches 2.5 herself, I realize I was wrong about this. There is only so much one can do at home and M has exhausted most of them with the people and games she has at home. I feel this is the right time for her to explore and experience new friends/games. So, yeah the school system is right. Who knew?
I Was Judgy
In my 20s, I was quite judgemental at all the parents I saw who looked at their kids as the be all — end all of life. Their only purpose in life seemed to give away everything they had to their children. They seemed to work and save money just for their children. Their happiness stemmed mostly from their children etc. I judged them hard. While I still have reservations about this, I at least understand why they do so now. In my thirties, as I see the lofty dreams of changing the world and becoming world-famous drifting away, I often wonder what is it that I want to do. One of the things that come to mind is M. Give her the best chance to do what she wants to do and maybe she will change the world? And then it struck me. How many parents may have gone through the same phase and decided their own goals were to make everything better for their children and did not bother about anything else.
So yes, I understand why they did what they did. But I still do not agree with it. I think parents while doing everything for their children should not make it a 24/7 job and make their life only about their children. They should have fun, explore and continue to learn and dream about life. Children are an important part of life but not the only part of a parent’s life.
The Responsibility is Scary
At times when I have had to be harsh on M or be a little strict, I do it while feeling bad and guilty. Yet, what scares me more is how M then comes back to me like I am all that matters after some time. The dependency they have on us at this young age is cute as well as scary. We are their whole world. They learn everything from us. They know nothing else except us. That puts such a big responsibility on us to make sure we are teaching them the right things. But more importantly, it should not be misused. Please do not hit your children or abuse them in any way. Yes, they will always come back to you but that is because they do not know anything else. They are too young to understand that what you are doing is wrong or that you should not be doing it. The onus is on you to do the right thing.
